Thought I couldn’t live without you

It’s gonna hurt when it heals too, ooh yeah

(It’ll all get better in time)

And even though I really love you,

I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to

It’ll all get better in time

“Baby come here and sit down, let’s talk
I got a lot to say so I guess I’ll start by
Saying that I love you,
But you know, this thing ain’t been
No walk in the park for us
I swear it’ll only take a minute
You’ll understand when I finish, yeah
And I don’t wanna see you cry
But I don’t wanna be the one to tell you a lie so”

-Chris Brown

…was this the case…M?

This is BULLSHIT. Why can’t I just forget about you?!?! Every single thing i do just reminds me of you. Do you know that feeling that you just want to move on but your heart wont let you?!?! IT’S LIKE THAT. I CANT BELIEVE YOU JUST LEFT ME HANGING. YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING IT IS THAT YOUR LAST WORDS TO ME WERE “I LOVE YOU” BEFORE JUST IGNORING ME?!?! BEFORE YOU ACTED LIKE I DIDN’T EXIST?!?! BEFORE YOU ACTED AS THOUGH NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN US?!?! BEFORE YOU LEFT WITHOUT EXPLAINING?!?!

…or was that your goodbye?

…either way it hurts.

…nothing could ever erase this pain in my heart.

…God. Please. Just please let this pain go away. I can’t take it anymore.

…I want to be happy. PLEASE.

It was a fairytale, which is why it’s almost coming to a close. Everybody wants different things, but we can’t give them what we want because what we want conflicts with theirs. It’s really this annoying cycle of unending wants and anger. If I don’t get what I want, I will certainly be angry, and if you don’t, you will most certainly ignore me for most probably the remaining days.

SIGH!!!!

Life is difficult, and tricky. Which is why we really can’t have what we want all the time. What I really mean to say is that, I want to get something but I can’t because it’ll make you sad. Because you want the attention ANNNDD!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! This is usually a time when I usually should give up, but I don’t. Because, I don’t want to give up, anymore. I have so many things to ask, like, why keep staring at me? Do I literally have something on my face?!?!?! I know I should just ignore them but for God’s sake just look somewhere else. Am I like some exhibition where in you just can’t get enough?!?! PERIOD. Another question, is love still possible when you want to forget someone but you can’t??! UGHHH!!!! Okay, honestly, I miss you, I can’t forget you and I’m not ready for someone new to change me. PERIOD. Time for the friendship boat problems. I am certain at this rate, I will lose everything. I don’t want to say an unwanted farewell, not anymore. I would have to move to a new school, a new life, a new everything. And I don’t want that. Truthfully, that was how I felt long before you did. You were always surrounded by friends and I was always watching from the sidelines. Now, it feels right yet wrong. Am I really a mistake in this whole charade?

I fell in love with you, how long has it already been?My feelings have only been getting stronger. I wonder if you’ve realized? My feelings like snowflakes slowly drifting gently, continuously piling up higher and higher. Hold me tight, if this is how it feels. The feeling of falling in love with someone then I don’t want to feel it. I love you yet the tears continue to fall. In that case, you should never have come into my life. It doesn’t matter anymore, I’ve been working so hard to make myself someone you’d like but up to now, nothing has happened. I wonder, will I survive? If the snow keeps on falling forever, will it cover up my feelings for you? I want to see you right now….

…what we had was an unwanted farewell….